
A magazine recently ran a 
      "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes 
      from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted 
      the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate 
      America:

 
"As of tomorrow, 
      employees will only be able to access the building using individual 
      security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will 
      receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from 
      Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

 
"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown 
      problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines 
      Shipping)

 
"E-mail is not to be 
      used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company 
      business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

 
"This project is so important we can't let things that 
      are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager,
United 
      Parcel Service)

 
"Doing it right is no excuse
for not meeting the 
      schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco 
      Corporation)

 
"No one will believe you solved
this problem in one 
      day!
We've been 
      working on it for months.
Now go act busy for a few weeks and
I'll let you know when it's 
      time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and 
      Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

 
Quote 
      from the Boss:
"Teamwork is a lot of people doing
what I 
      say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix 
      Corporation)

 
My 
      sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told 
      my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on 
      the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial 
      to Friday.
He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

 
    "We know that 
      communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it 
      with the employees." 
    (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines 
      Division)
